soap and whiskey

I am pretty sick right now. Cold/Flu kind of thing and I feel quite rotten so I have little ability to be witty or quick or remotely interesting right now, but for you, my dear readers ... reader .... mom .... I will try.

On Saturday night, I took my son to THE MALL. Always my favorite place to go. I really do hate the mall, even as a shopper extraordinaire, the mall is full of people I don't want to be within a 10 foot radius of. We went on the carousel and then had some dinner.
I had some california rolls, and Jack was so excited about his broccoli and cheddar cheese potato he would clench his fists and and shiver and go "MMMM!" as he ate it. Some other women and their kids were nearby and were mesmerized by him and asked me "does he always eat stuff like that?". I said, "sure. broccoli is his favorite food." They didn't even notice how he said "please", "thank you, mama", and "you're my best friend". I have this strangely perfect mother-child thing going on. I am trying to cherish this time period, as I do not forsee it continuing into his teen years, that's for certain. At least I can remind him, when he is telling me what a dork I am in ten years, that he used to say "mama, you my best friend forever" when he was three years old.

I woke up today and decided the only thing I could bring my aching body to do was to go to the Clinique counter at Bergner's and buy extremely expensive facial cleansers and mousturizers. Nothing like looking like a bag lady and going to the Clinique counter. I had a middle aged woman with a thick accent and too much make-up help me. Surprised?

I told her I was sick and I just wanted a facial cleansing system for my skin that was mild enough not to give me dry skin while helping with breakouts. We talked abotu how stress affected my skin.

She tried to ask me in bad English if I took any medications, you know, 'those kind'. I do.

She told me to throw them away and buy some whiskey. I kid you not. She said' "You drink big glass of water, you drink small amount, ok like small tiny cup, ok, it's a shot, of whiskey ... nothing weaker than black lay-bell, that is what I am told, not blue (?) lay-bell, only black lay-bell, stronger kind, and you drink this little cup, then you drink another big glass of water. You do this in morning and again at night, it work like miracle. Poof. No medication."

"Just don't become alcoholic or anything."

I have a feeling I will be a long-time customer at the Bergner's Clinque counter. Tomorrow I am calling my physician and telling him I would like to stop taking my 'medications' for a more holistic approach.

Expensive soap and a daily shot of whiskey.

Comments

[adagio]

How delightful to read your kid stories! Sounds like Jack REALLY enjoys his food! I'm still grinning about the Clinique encounter and the whiskey and water medication substitute! :)xoxoxAdagio

[Mom]

That is sooooo funny..sitcom funny...litle whiskey and big glass of water. You're killin me

[JO]

mmm i like broccoli cheddar potatos too :P