go retro with edna million

stupid survey

1.When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
eyes

2.How much cash do you have on you?
7 cents

3.What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
UNREST

4.Favorite plant?
jade (the first plant I have owned that I have not killed)

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
work

6.What is your main ring tone on your phone?
it sounds like a normal phone ringing

7.What shirt are you wearing?
thin powder-blue long sleeve scoop neck tshirt

8. Do you "label" yourself?
"undefined"

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
some Payless brand called FIONI

10. Bright or Dark Room?
bright,  if it is natural light

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Lacey from CheekyMamas is rad. She deserves good things. She is a great mama.

12. Ever "spilled the beans"?
My own beans? Yes. Others? I don't think so, I may have at some point in my life, but I rarely do and consider it a policy not to.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Knitting, watching Food Network probably.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
"Liz is home now so we're gonna watch a movie."

15.Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
no

16.What's a saying that you say a lot?
"so how's that working out for you?", "good luck with that"

17.Who told you they loved you last?
my mom (on the phone)

18. Last furry thing you touched?
my cat

19.How many hours a week do you work?
40 hours, but this does not include the time I study and work on school or my mama job.

20.How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
rolls of film? good luck with that, caveman.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
every year has it's highlights and lowlights

22. Your worst enemy?
the demon liquor

23. What is your current desk top picture?
at work - a purple orchid, desktop at home - collage of family photos, laptop - 1950s beauty pageant contestants

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
I'd like an appointment with Dr. ***** to get some drugs ... err anti-depressants.

25. If you had to choose between a milion bucks or to be able to go back in time to fix all of your mistakes, which would you pick?
a million bucks, easy.

what I'd do

Things I would do if it weren't reliant upon other people because I don't have any other people to do these things with:

1. Have lots of monogamous sex. You know, the kind where you know someone well enough that you don't suck in your belly anymore.

2. Have a weekly poker game. Unfortunately half the people I know that play poker don't like me because I have taken their money too many times. The other half has potential lame excuses that I wouldn't even bother asking - no car, my house is too far from the bar, only willing to hang out after 11pm, or I'm afraid they would get drunk and not leave my house.

3. Beat my boss UP. I think I would need backup, but I am pretty sure my coworker would have my back.

4. Grill out more. There's nothing sadder than grilling for one.

5. Go on road trips. I love road trips. I would love to go to weird little towns and stay in weird little motels every once in a while.

______________________________________

My boss just told me that he thought I should call this little local gym to market to. Mind you, we market to corporate offices for national insurance companies, banks, retail, etc. The minimum quantity for our services is quite large. We don't work with local comanies much, except for maybe the hospitals and universities who have huge databases they market to. I asked him if he was sure he thought it was worth calling because of their location and size, and I have actually called their corporate office already and they weren't interested in our services at corporate, so it seemed odd they would want our services on a small local level.

He tried to explain that people will drive an hour to go to a gym so they could market within an hour radius.

I said "An hour?? I doubt that. Who drives an hour to go to a gym?"

He said he had friend who did, and he himself has driven 50 minutes to go to a gym, five times a week. I said I thought that was outrageous and a waste of life!"

He said "yeah but I'm healthy, you don't go to a gym, you don't KNOW"

I said, "I might not be healthy but I would not want to spend my entire life completely obsessed on working out to the point that was all I did with my time. 2 hours a day five days a week just to DRIVE there?? That's a lot of time!" But I said I would call on them if he really wanted me to.

A few minutes later he called me in to his office and was PISSED. The "wasting your life on working out 15+ hours a week" comment sunk in and he started in on how I have forgotten the chain of command here blah blah.

I told him if he can dish out his opinions on my life then why can't I have my own opinions, is it just because he doesn't like my opinion? I think spending 15 hours a week working out is wasting your life, I think it is a waste of time. My opinion. He says things negative about me and my life all the time. Get over it.

He said I was treading on thin ice.

That's kind of like working out, isn't it?

my aim is true

The Kid was digging the Elvis Costello in the car today. We had to listen to 'Alison ' about 30 times, but it was worth it to hear him singing from his carseat ... "my aim is twuuuu" ....

guilt cycle

Feeling guilty that I hadn't spent enough time with The Kid this week, and that I did not get my homework done enough, I stayed home from work. Now I feel guilty for staying home from work. I felt guilty that I spent the day with my kid so I took him to daycare around 3pm to study, a friend called and he's been depressed because his girlfriend just broke up with him so I felt guilty for not offering to hang out so I hung out and played 3 games of darts, then I felt guilty for not studying. Now I am out, "studying", but instead I am blogging, so I feel guilty right now for writing this and not studying. When I start studying I will feel guilty that I am not spending more time with my son. Repeat.

it's catching

I think I am so bummed today that I am causing some kind of ripple in the fabric of the universe.

Birds have been flinging themselves against my office window in failed suicide attempts all day long.

*FLUTTERCLUNKCLUNKKABOOMFLUTTERFLUTTER*

Three times already. I can't take it anymore, I closed my shades.

depression + nausea

I've been non-functioning since Sunday night when a certain person I have been enamored with for seven years mentioned he may be or may be considering dating someone. I feel sick. It's been okay somehow because I never had to actually ever see him with anyone else. I'm not sure I could see that.

news, poker, same thing

Walked in the door after work, turned on the telly, ate popsicles. Fox News was on. The Kid looked up at me and said "We watching POKA, mama?". No, sweetie, it's not poker, it's the news. But yet, I see your point.

mental break .... down?

I've been going through midterms. Papers, exams, 90 degree humid hot evil sticky heat. Low on money. Not enough time with my kid. two huge zits that I attribute one to each of my classes thankyouverymuch. Will be back posting some more drivel soon when I have the energy and ability to talk about anything besides my classes and the heat.

What's My Name, Biatch!?

I don't want to talk about my life right now. The confusing relationships, the homework slackage, the beer consumption (Allagash, Bell's Oberon, Dirty Bastard are amoung my favorites), the Fairly Oddparents watching, the sprinkler running-through, the knitting, the Haagen Dazs Mango Sorbet, the mozzarella paninis, the hand rolled tobacco, the stuff I can't talk about because my mother reads my blog, the record sale I went to on Saturday (KILLER), the turquoise ruffled mini skirt and strapless top I wore despite the fact that I am not a 12 year old girl and do not have the body of one (remember ... the mozzarella panini?), the Dean Martin movie I sat through last night in 'his' apartment wishing he would just worship the ground I walk on and adore me already.

So, yeah, not much going on here, so I decided to play a stupid game.

Go to google images. Type in your full name. Choose the strangest pictures it comes up with and post them in your blog. Here are the photos that my name brings up:

What is the connection, you say? Row by row:

ROW #1:
A. Cold, round, lonely, child.
B. Distorted.
C. Even naked drawings get more action than I do.
D. Kind of fashionable and glamorous, borderline drag-queen-esque.

ROW #2:
A. There really is someone out there for everyone but me.
B. This does not happen to me.
C. Chef Luigi says, "This fish is more attractive than she is and smells better, too."
D. Guys named 'Dragon' who dress in stupid costumes and role-play with fake wooden swords might consider dating me.
E. Gargoyles avert their eyes from my beauty, lest they be turned to dust.

ROW #3:
A. Medusa-like.
B. Often imitated, never duplicated.
C. I like hats.
D. Between the two of them, they eat more and get more dick.

ROW #4:
A. When confronted by good vs. evil in sweatsuits, I, too, stare and think about what might have been.
B. She has the same name as I.
C. As graceful as a badly-drawn kangaroogoatdeer with his front legs cut off at the knee.
D. No connection whatsoever.

post secrets

Confessional Art
PostSecret
postsecret.blogspot.com
"...public airing of private thoughts—some dark, others funny, endearing or disturbing—written on homemade postcards and collected by blogger Frank Warren of Germantown, Maryland. Anyone can contribute, and thousands have. Just make a card and mail it to Warren—he suggests that you be brief, legible and creative—and, if he likes it, he'll scan it and post it on his site. The range of efforts (meticulous, sloppy, artful, ponderous) will astound you. " (Time.com 50 Coolest Websites: Blogs)